Mi hermana Patis es tres años mas chiquita que yo. Cuando eramos chiquitas compartiamos el cuarto y constantemente nos peleabamos porque eramos completamente diferentes. Yo siempre queria todo nitido y ella no siempre queria seguir mi ejemplo...
Mis recuerdos de nuestra infancia son algo opuestos... Nos peleabamos como perros y gatos, pero tambien nos llevabamos bien, especialmente en la noche cuando hablabamos por un gran rato. Nos imaginabamos un monton de cosas que nos gustaria tener, y le ibamos agregando cosas a ese sueño, hasta que terminabamos con algo ridiculo e imposible de tener! Una de ellas era un camper que al final llego a tener dos pisos y una puerta corrediza en el cuarto principal, la cual se abria hacia un balcon donde caia nieve y teniamos nuestros San Bernardos.
Los años de la adolescencia fueron algo dificiles para la Patis porque trataba de no ser opacada por mi, y yo creo que a ella tampoco le gustaba mucho tener que ser mi chaperona todo el tiempo. Yo creo que el traslado a Costa Rica ayudo un poco, ya que otras personas y en especial los maestros, no sabian nada de mi... no tenian expectativas de como tenia que ser o como debia comportarse.
Yo me case y me fui a vivir lejos. Ella tambien se caso y las dos tuvimos hijos. En los ultimos años nuestra relacion se ha vuelto mas cercana. Hablamos regularmente y en mis dos ultimos viajes a Guatemala nos quedamos con su familia, y pasamos la mayoria del tiempo juntas. Cuando no hablamos por un tiempo, la empiezo a extrañar.
My sister Patty is three years younger than me. When we were little, we shared a bedroom, and there were constant fights because we were complete opposites. I was extremely neat and she didn't quite follow my lead...
My memories of growing up with her are a little mixed... We fought like cats and dogs, but we also had great times, especially at night when we would talk for the longest time. We would imagine all these things that we wanted to have, and we would keep adding to it, until we ended up with some ridiculous and unattainable things! One of them was a camper that by the end had two levels and a sliding door that led from the master bedroom to a balcony where it snowed and we kept our Saint Bernard dogs.
The teenage years were a little harder as Patty tried to get out of my shadow, and I don't think she really enjoyed being my chaperon all the time. I think that the move to Costa Rica helped a little, since other people and especially the teachers at school didn't know anything about me... there were no expectations as to who she should be or how to behave.
I got married and moved far away. She got married and then we both had kids. Over the last few years we have become very close. We talk on a regular basis and the last two visits to Guatemala we have stayed with her family, and spent most of our time together. When I don't talk to her for a little while, I really start missing her.
What made me think about writing about her is because she has been in my thoughts for about a week. 14 years ago she married a great guy, and they had an anniversary last week. I was a horrible sister and didn't call her... I've been busy and keep meaning to call her, but forget to make the time. So this time she is in my thoughts more than usual.
Patty, I am very happy that we have been able to become so close. I treasure our friendship and hope that you know how much I love you. Happy Anniversary!!! ...a little late :)
As usual Carmen, you have touched me with this story. My sister and I were much like you two. I was older by 18 mos. She was always in my shadow and we were quite opposite. I was prissy girly girl, and she quite the Tomboy. We too shared a bedroom, and would have long talks about our futures together. I was her protector and she was mine. The only difference between us and you two, was an abusive mentally ill mother. She hated us being close and always tried to cause dissention between us.
ReplyDeleteAs adults, we continued to be close. She lived with us on and off over the years, and we did almost everything together. Our talks turned to, how different things would be, once our mother was no longer around to instigate and cause problems. We looked forward to a very different future.
Sadly,those dreams would never be realized, with her sudden and unexpected death on Jan. 11, 1996. My world turned to chaos. My hopes and dreams with my sister, best friend, gone! Since my family is such a mess, her death was a thing that I hoped would bring us together and heal, but did just the opposite. My world has been shattered never to be the same. I see her in Sean everyday, it is both a blessing and a curse. I work hard for it to be more of a blessing, though.
This is the reason that relationships are so important to me. Matt and your Mark were like brothers and when I came along, Mark was like a brother that I always wanted. I have a brother, but hes crazy, bipolar among other things. As each year went without my dear Susan, I retreated more and more into a cocoon. Losing those precious relationships with so many people I loved. I've only recently, began to escape my capsule and FB was instrumental in helping that. Nearly 15 years! What a shame, what a lose, but it is what it is.
One thing that you are very wrong about, is being a bad sister. Your love of Patty shines in your words, reflects in your writings. Time is an enemy. We are all victims to it. We have lives and families and the time escapes easily through our hands.
I need not tell u how blessed, lucky or whatever you are, bc your words speak it.
Through this blog, I feel that Im beginning to find you, to see who you are, to see that we are common people. When you and Mark got married, I wished that we 4 could become close, just like family. Maybe we are on the way, who knows. You are here in the states without your precious family, and I might as well be in another country, for I have no family here as well.
I found some family, through FB that I didn't know I had, and some who I haven't seen in well over 20 years. When my mother threw me out of my house at 17 yrs old, my entire extended family disowned me too. (my mothers side, not my dads only bc she never allowed us to see them) I didn't know any of them. I have found a few of them, and have become close to them. We talk often, and my cousin Angel just moved back to PA and we actually met up for lunch and our families all met at her house! It has caused that hole in my soul, the one that came when Susan left, to start to scar over. It will never be gone.
My family, my husband, kids, grandkids, and friends who have become family are the reason I live and breath. I am very guarded with who I let in my heart, bc I can't take the heartbreak of loss. I feel peoples pain, and I hurt as if it is my own pain. It's good and bad, but who I am.
Again, girl~ you have touched me! I look forward to your next post! Can u send to my email or something so I don't miss. I tried to sign up but but have hotmail acct.
Just a side note, I almost cried, bc I wrote this once, went to post and it disappeared. OMG So I write again, and I almost lost it again, but somehow found it. writing through FB mail, doest that a lot, and I stopped doing it, but would copy and past from my own mail. I may do that with this thing next!!! hahahaha Its prob me, bc Im a techno tart!! lol
ReplyDeleteCarmen Alicia:
ReplyDeleteTe felicito! primero por tu blog y segundo por lo que has escrito sobre la Patis, de alguna forma me siento identificada en cuanto a las diferencias que tenian, y que yo tambien tenia con mi hermana, y en lo que hoy las une, y me une con mi hermana. Por increible que parezca, a mi la distancia me ayudo a tener una relacion mas fuerte con mi hermana.
Gracias Gaby! Yo creo que la distacia hace que apreciemos mas a nuestra familia y sobre todo a nuestras hermanas. La relacion con una hermana, es algo que no se puede tener con otra persona.
ReplyDeleteCarmen, me alegra que puedas escribir algo así de una tu hermana... Yo también quisiera poderlo hacer (no tenés idea de cuánto) pero nuestros intereses y vidas han llevado caminos tan diferentes (e incompatibles) con las dos que tengo, que esa cercanía nunca se ha logrado dar... Talvez algun día se me conceda... Mientras tanto, seguiré esperando paciente y silenciosamente a que llegue... Feliz aniversario a la Patys! Y de lo del esposo especial... jaja! no hay duda!! Aunque él también tiene una esposa muy especial!! Son uno para el otro ;o)
ReplyDeleteQue lo siento Giova! Espero que ese dia llegue pronto, mientras tanto aunque no seamos hermanas, acordate que te quiero mucho y siempre me acuerdo de ti. Hay veces en la vida, donde uno tiene que formar una familia, fuera de la familia... aunque la relacion de hermanas no se puede duplicar del todo, yo creo que si se puede llegar a tener algo bastante parecido con otras personas.
ReplyDeleteUn abrazo!
Hola! No había visto tu respuesta y no hay duda que cuando te escribí mi comentario, luego de haber leído el tuyo, me fluyó la nostalgia.. jaja! De todas formas, creo que tenes razón. El no tener una hermana de sangre con quien compartir tus cosas, no te limita a que no consigas una hermana de corazón para hacerlo. Estoy segura que en tí puedo encontrar a una y tu ten la seguridad que en mí también tu podrás encontrar otra (bueno, que no se pongan celosas aquellas que te conté.. jaja!) Un abrazo igual!
ReplyDelete